Breaking this thing in.....

So, today I did it. I finally called my best friend back. We had this horrible fight three months ago and he said he never wanted to speak to me again. So when he called I assumed it was just to say, "..hey, I'm not mad, but that's about it." So I never even thought of calling him, I'm like if he wants to talk he'll call me. But I couldn't help it. I called, and come to find out he's been attempting to call me and I haven't been getting the calls. Lesson learned: Follow intuition. I should have called him two weeks ago. My life is mired in confusion at the moment. I'm in my early twenties, in a long term relationship that's now long distance as well, not liking being away from my lover all the time, dating others occasionally for the companionship. I'm afraid of getting married. I'm constantly try to sabbotage myself, what's that about? Finishing college, living every exhausting moment that is my life thinking "there-has-got-to-be-more" to this thing. Basically I'm bored. Blah, blah, school, blah, blah, boyfriend, blah, blah, friends, blah, blah, family, blah, blah, gym, blah, blah, BLAH! Bleh! Bored stiff, and I have no excuse for not going out. There's plenty to do, I just don't want to do it by myself. My best girlfriend works all the time. We have to coordinate our schedules to find time to hang out, at least that's what it feels like. This is sad. I should be partying so hard, instead I'm acutally kind of sleepy. I've come to this extreme because I'm a recovering drama queen. But this is drama too, just the I'm so bored I have to create some excitement drama...that's the worst kind...the kind where you might ruin your life doing the dumbest shit you could possibly dream up just for kicks. Yep, that's what I've been doing, insert drama here _____. Next time I write I'll give you the background and the details as to what's REALLY going on, dramatics and all, it'll be worth it...if I even have any readers...HAH!